My Big Bang Theory


Came to a dead stop behind several cars waiting for the red light to change.


I had glanced in my rear view mirror and saw a car pulling up behind me.  It looked like an innocent red van, probably rushing home for dinner.


Instinctively, I had left extra space between the car in front of me and my vehicle, thanks to taking a defensive driving class a few years ago.


Suddenly I was being thrust towards the blue car in front of me.  Both of my hands were glued to the steering wheel, and my right foot pressed down even harder on the break, if that was possible.  By some miracle, I stopped short of hitting the blue car, or my grey vehicle would have looked like an accordion.

I had done everything right.  Was driving defensively…with  full command of my car…leaving plenty of space in front of me…but then it happened.


The lady in the red van was obviously driving distracted and smashed right into me.  It seemed to me that she had not even tried to break.  What was she thinking? or not?

This morning I am feeling achy and nauseous…with a splitting headache and sore muscles.  “You’ll feel worse tomorrow and for the next few days,” they told me at the Emergency Room.

Exrays and tests revealed that nothing appeared broken.

But something was broken deep inside of me.  Its my confidence.  I always felt safe in my 2001 Rav4, but last night I was too shaken to drive it home.

That leads to my new Big Bang Theory.  Any time you take a big hit, or are dealt a crushing blow, your instinct is  to retreat…to find a safe place, and hide until you are healed.  That might be ok for a day or two or even longer, but at some point I know that it will be important to get back on the road again before I let the shakiness take a hold of me.

“Precious Lord, take my hand, lead me on, help me stand–I am tired, I am weak, I am worn; thro’ the storm, thro’ the night, lead me on to the light–Take my hand, precious Lord, lead me home.”

This hymn was written by Thomas Dorsey, based on the words from Isaiah 41:13: “For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, ‘Do not fear, I will help you.'”  He wrote it after the death of his wife and newborn son.  His  words touch me deeply this morning.  I pray that they heal the brokenness I feel today.




2 thoughts on “My Big Bang Theory

  1. Teri says:

    Mary Anne, I’m so sorry this happened to you and I hope you heal soon. What a beautiful insight about how we retreat whenever we take a big hit. Thank you for sharing all of this.


  2. Jamie G says:

    I’m so glad you came through without any broken bones. Take care of the “soft” parts, too, both physical and spiritual…

    Recovery hugs from San Diego.


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